I’ve been mulling over my blog for the last few days and reading some of my old posts from when I first began, geez it really takes me back to when I was in full swing serious weight loss mode. I still can’t believe really that I used to weigh over 100kgs, just kind of seems unbelievable, I feel so normal no w, just a normal weight, most people to look at me would think I’ve always been this size. I’m not fat, I’m not thin, I’m just normal. I’d like to be a little thinner, doesn’t everyone but I’m just truly thankful that I’m not fat anymore and if I’m just struggling with a few kgs who the hell cares right?! There will always be haters, some will think I’m still fat and could do with losing a bit more and then other haters who think I’m too thin, I think that’s really just because of how big I was. It’s hard to keep everyone happy. It got me thinking what it really takes to get the body of your dreams.
I’m not going to lie, of course I want to be slimmer, and who doesn’t really! I’d also like to have a bigger house, better car, to work less yadda yadda but what is realistic, what is achievable without losing focus of the big picture. Happiness is what’s truly important, being in a loving relationship, having an amazing group of friends and family around you, giving to others, being fit and healthy, waking up everyday feeling like you are right where you want to be. Those things are something that a number on a scale or the size on your clothes will never satisfy.
So what does it take to get that perfect body, I guess good genes help somewhat, healthy diet – I’d suggest a Primal one of course! a level of calorie or carbohydrate restriction, the right type and amount of exercise, plastic surgery or even lippo for some hell I don’t really know exactly but what I do know that no matter what, it takes time, discipline and serious commitment. Even if you don’t end up getting the body of your dreams you can make massive changes and get a body that will serve you very well. I’m pretty happy with my body, when I stand naked in a mirror I can appreciate my curves and feel good about where I’m at. I can still see plenty of places where I’d like to lift areas and trim fat off myself but overall it’s obviously not enough for me to carve myself out a bangin body, I wish it was but apparently it’s not, otherwise perhaps I would be at the perfect weight. Maybe it also has something to do with how much my husband adores me and also loves the size I am right now.
When I was morbidly obese weighing 107kgs I used to daydream about how wonderful it would be just to fit into my size 14 jeans, I couldn’t even really imagine that it would be possible again, I would hold up my favourite jeans and just want to cry, I couldn’t believe that I had done all that damage to myself, a couple of years prior I was wearing those jeans, it seemed like a distant memory. I guess every woman has those moments, no matter what your size, we have all cried or wanted to cry just to fit back into our favourite jeans. I could have sworn that back in 2008 when I was a size 20-22 that I would have done anything to magically just fit into those jeans and I remember saying to myself that if I could just be healthy again and feel somewhat slim then I would be truly happy…
So I arrived at approx 75kgs, a size 14 and it was unbelievable when I realised that I finally fitted those jeans. Unfortunately that feeling didn’t last and it wasn’t enough, now I knew I could do it I wanted to lose more, the slimmer I could get the better right? In the past I’ve been a size 8 at 54kgs, I knew that I was thin but I didn’t arrive there thinking that my life was just perfect, I remember thinking well I’m thin, now what? My lowest weight on this journey has been 64.8kgs, I loved being that size, I fitted into a size 10-11 and I felt damn good when I think back, however when I was that size I knew that I wanted to better myself even further, why not try for 62kgs because then I’ll fit a size 9-10. All just numbers in my head thinking it might change how I feel.